1. Habitual Reactions
Your habitual reactions are the subconscious decisions your mind automatically makes when presented with a problem or situation. The reaction is the first thing that you think of when these problems or situations present themselves to you; your automatic response. For example, you get stuck at a red light then another, and another; Do you think great now I am going to be late or are you thinking maybe I am getting stuck at these lights for a reason; maybe to learn to be more patient. Possibly you may think; "I maybe stuck at this light so that I won't get hit by the guy on his phone who is going to drive through the next one." There are ways we can program our mind to build these reactions into constructive thoughts that will only build momentum and positive solutions to these problems and situations in our lives.
A few things you can do to start making these changes can be as easy as starting with waking up in the morning 15 minutes earlier and taking a few minutes before we get out of bed to 'right the ship' as I like to say can do wonders for our entire day. By this I mean we take a few minutes to think of the things we can be grateful for and how we are going to make today a better day than the day before. Another thing we can do is just practice, practice, practice. How many times do you notice something and immediately say something about it. Usually that is your automatic response. In the future take the time to pause before you say something and ask yourself if it is going to help build your positive attitude or is it going to add negatively to the situation or the way people view you. We can teach ourselves to better handle different, difficult situations then we can become better people, employees, family members, bosses, or friends. The key to changing your life lies in how well you control your habitual reactions to all of lives situations and circumstances.
2. Thinking Processes
Building on our habitual reactions, those automatic responses we have to certain situations and circumstances, our thoughts that we dwell on and cultivate in our minds are where our brains will focus its attention on. Just as practicing a sport will hone those skills until you become a master, if you give your negative, hurtful, destructive thoughts all of your attention then it is those which will be cultivated in the garden of your mind. It is those habitual thought processes that will determine who you become as a person. Are you good natured, do you care about others? Are you depressed, do you only care about yourself? These questions are only examples often life is much less black and white. The answers lie more in the middle of these questions. Most people want to be nicer to others or become greater influences but let learned habits and the reactions of others affect how they grow or not grow. You cannot control how others react only yourself.
Besides any underlying medical issues your mind controls everything you become whether you want it to or not. You either teach yourself to be happy and successful, always willing to be taught and to learn something new or you teach yourself to always find the worst in people, situations and things. Either way you teach yourself through your habitual reactions and they are strengthened through your thought processes. Now there is just one other thing that controls what type of attitude you have, it is also the one you have no control over.
3. Past Circumstances
Did you grow up next to a park with two loving parents and a dog? Did you grow up in government assisted housing with only a mom who was never home because she had to work all the time? If you think these two examples of an upbringing do not help determine what type of habitual reactions and thought processes someone has then you need to take a closer look. It doesn't mean that someone is better or worse than someone else, it only is the surroundings that can alter your thoughts and attitudes on things. When presented with a difficult situation the person who grew up in the projects might have a better time handling the situation, if they were taught correctly, on the other hand maybe not. A lot of your attitude is formed in the first 5 to 8 years of your life. So your parents and first friends have a lot of influence on what kind of primitive attitude you adopt. Don't let your past circumstances hinder anymore future growth, if you are feeling depressed or stuck in a rut try doing something that grows your life and your mind, I think you will find that you will be less stressed and depressed when you are actively teaching yourself to be a better person. You will find less time to complain and bicker about situations and circumstances.
Is you attitude perfect, I know it isn't. It will never be, because we are all humans and have complex emotions. Some of us may have better attitudes then others, we may have been taught those attitudes while growing up whereas someone else didn't have that advantage to be taught an attitude. Some of us handle different situations better than others. For example when someone passes away there are those of us who cannot even handle going to a funeral while others seem to be just fine. That's just one of the things that makes us human and makes us different. I encourage you to teach yourself to improve your attitude, even if it is already excellent, you can reach out to those whose attitudes are not and encourage them to teach themselves to better their attitudes and grow in their lives. There are always people watching you whether you notice or not, you can be someone's angel just by the way you respond to different situations, they may see the way you respond and be motivated to change their lives.
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